Half the time we get confused not knowing about the meanings of certain behaviours.
I have been in Europe for 24 years now. Enough to recognize differences between an original cultured African woman and a Westernized woman.
There are different reasons why we are told that women of a certain continents are being abused and women of a certain culture are being suppressed.
What surprises me in the years that I have lived in Netherlands is that a woman in Europe or a Westernized woman would really try her best to liberate another woman from an African or Asian continent except Europe.
This kind of behaviour has been going on for a while now and it can only take a few understandings and experiences to be where I am right now writing this note.
Women in general have been suppressed for centuries, this statement does not mean every woman and in every culture, but it can only take another woman who once have been suppressed to recognize this situation.
We say Westernized women are liberated because they live in so called well developed countries full of democracy. But I doubt whether being well developed has a better effect on emancipation? Or are we talking of a European woman who is now protecting her situation on an African or Asian woman just because she is privileged?
Each time I would meet a group of business women or emancipated women, I would feel some kind of loneliness because these are women who were happy to be away from their husbands, from the suppression and were now feeling the freedom that they never managed to create within their homes.
Those women are the ones asking me today, what does your husband say when you are on Social media? How does he feel when you write controversy?
I know I write in parables, but quiet understandable I guess.
A certain group of women in Netherlands itself suffer because of their choices of religion. They are not even allowed to wear trousers, wash clothes on Sunday. They have loads of children and their husbands are not always the nicest. Not all ofcourse. I am closely married to a certain group of people with the same background so I know what I am talking about. When children grow up seeing women not receiving the respect they earn, the greater the chance that they won’t want much to do with men.
“They are most likely to hate men or abuse them, maybe extreme analysis, but I will give an example, there is a difference between teasing a man and putting a man down”
Anyway going back to my worry about being a feminist. There is a certain behaviour going around lately when it comes to which woman is helping which woman. It’s wrong for another woman to say do not tolerate men, based on her personal situation.
We love our men you know, I do not tolerate the fact that someone tells me men are dogs yet there is an equal amount of women who misbehave too. We need to take our teachings to the next level when we treat people as human beings and not put them in boxes.
One thing that irritates me or pains me most is when a privileged woman grows up being told that only a certain group of women are being abused therefore her first aim òŕ goal in life is to run to Africa or Asia to liberate an abused woman or a girl child.
You need to look at your own self first before you start making assumptions.
What happened to statements like “pulling of labya” in Africa
Are we all not sharing an American lady pulling her own labya using weight lifting instruments because it’s better for intimate lifestyle? So why are we talking of saving an abused girl child in Africa?
African women have been practicing this for years. When Western countries want to practice modern colonisation they have to find a way of putting a certain behaviour down so to uplift it themselves. They still use the same ways just as during slavery, capture you let you teach them whilst you are being empowered by something that you are already capable of.
To just equalize my conclusions here.
When another woman is wearing a burka because it’s her culture and she is knowledgeable about it, then you should look at your certain behaviour too from your own culture that you practice out of choice.
The rest out of this box should be considered extreme and should be
dealt with accordingly.
I used to be told that my butt was too big by another woman who is now wearing an artificial butt to look like me. Now its us who need the tèachings on washable sanitary pads really?
Book Humansbonded by Melissa Budding