WHAT PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW YET ABOUT INTERNATIONAL MARRIAGES
An interracial relationship is not a solution to all the problems you probably once had, whether its financial instability to mental instability. We sometimes fail to look at our
🔹️understanding of love really
ITS YOU AND YOURSELF WHO NEED TO WORK ON YOURSELF BEFORE YOU DEAL WITH ANYONE ELSE. BUT MY MARRIAGE IS OUT OF LOVE NOT ORGANISED
WE CANNOT SHUT PEOPLE FROM TALKING ABOUT WHITE PRIVILEGE AND ITS INFLUENCE ON other people or INDOCTRINATED PEOPLE enslaving their own people.
Rather Say all marriages or lives matter after confronting the issues that matter. Racism, inequality, narcissism.
Just because your interracial marriage works for you. Does not mean it works for everyone. Besides, being married to a European is different from being married to an American or other race. Check your history.
What kind of value has an EU identity, greencard or how you would like to call it, I really dont care, added to your daily lifestyle?. In the end it turns out to be none of you know yourself including your history. We are not even anywhere near to a solution. But read
Personally I grew up with a mother and a dad who worked hard. They did have their challenges and some of their challenges turned out to have been influenced by the changes of the world.
Yes those situations were there, but I remember the good moments too and those moments of theirs are the most memories I have of a “rooranai vematongo” marriage. Where my mother knew my dad was now coming home without a watch, or time but her instincts. The same thing happened with my dad. These were the days when my mom was in the village and my dad in the city working. Those nights my mom would go to bed wearing her most beautiful nighties❤. You know in the 70s 80s and 90s we didn’t have phones. So you never knew when someone was going to come. That was an IDEAL marriage, that of my parents with a lot to fix, if they had enough support around them they would have even lived more smoothly.
How many women and men do I speak to who thought being married to a caucasian is a solution to poverty?. Some really thought that they will experience the sensuality of a relationship or the most romantic relationship as they have seen this being represented in the movies, or advertisements where only white people are represented to be the most stable. But it’s all not True. Those are just humans who also make mistakes.Who also need to learn about sexual intercourse and how to treat a woman in general.
I think a relationship is something 2 or more people are supposed to invest to. You cannot say, well he or she cheated on me and hopefully the next man or woman is going to be absolutely a solution to all existing problems in your entire relationship.
When we discuss on Social media it all seems like all problems are solved as we may consider all old news and already spoken about that. But the main question is how many of you are already practicing it.
Are you someone who says to yourself. It’s better to be married to a Caucasian than an African?
Or do you also consider your history as an African, an important reason why you should stick to where you come from? Then you know more about who you are. I personally have always missed home. Which says enough.
Those questions remain unanswered sometimes. Let me explain a little bit about an interracial relationship. A lot of people are very negative about Black (African) men yet they are the most loving if given the chance.
I have seen this with my own brothers and friends. My own teenage boyfriend when I was home. Those are the memories I have. I am objective and I have been given the chance to experience a privileged Caucasian. Not all are like that. But you cannot save the whole world.
I DIDNT CHOOSE TO BE WITH A CAUCASIAN. THERE WERE NOT MANY AFRICAN PEOPLE DURING THE TIME IN THE 90S IN EUROPE NATURE WAS NOW CALLING. AND THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OUT OF LOVE.
I remember that I gave up a lot of my culture and a bit of my self esteem to make my relationship work. Even though it may seem as if my caucasian husband is prepared to do the little things like speaking 1 or 3 words of my language or drink the brewed African beer or even allow me to speak freely about our marriage and the family.
That does not take away the fact that he still has to get used to fact that I am an African woman with African features. He still has to understand how my hair works, why we have to drive to some neighbourhood to buy hair products meant for my type of hair. He will never understand that I need to go home very often to see my family because it costs a lot of money.
YET WHEN HE SPEAKS ONE OR TWO WORDS OF MY AFRICAN LANGUAGE, MY OWN PEOPLE AND FAMILY START TO OVER COMPLIMENT HIM SUCH THAT THERE WONT BE ANY ENCOURAGEMENT OR EFFORT NEEDED. HE NEED NOTHING TO PLEASE.
On the hand, if you lived in Europe, you are supposed to learn their culture and language. Of which personally I did already before we were even dating.
I can understand that if I probably would be in his position because at that moment I will be surrounded with my family, my culture, my nature and everything that satisfies me.
Until if I manage to put my feet is his shoes. That’s when I can understand a little of it.
This can only work when 2 people have the same background, because you either both know how the background works, or doesn’t.
So let me not beat about the Bush. I would like to be very straightforward.
What has history done to people like me, people of my skin colour.
After slavery and Colonisation
An African (Black)
🔹️skin was not attractive
🔸️is poor and cannot think for themselves
🔹️ man is aggressive and lazy
🔸️woman only loves money and materialism
🔹️ woman doesn’t have long and beautiful hair
🔸️ woman has a round figure and is not favourable
🔹️man cheats (yet before that Royal families had more wives)
I can go on, but I know it will take a long time before I finish.
So you now have an idea why people stopped practicing marriages within their own communities.
After colonisation and Slavery
️A caucasian was
🔸️responsible and reliable
🔹️honest and romantic
🔸️Will never cheat on his woman or her man
🔹️ They never beat women or beat their husband
So all mentioned above turned out NOT true. In Karanga like I always have been mentioning in my book Humansbonded.
There is a term written “Rooranai vematongo”. Meaning that life is easier when you both understand your roots,.
You are luckily married if you are married to a caucasian who
🔸️truly loves you because he has respect for your roots or prepared to know more about where you come from and your whole self.
🔹️if your Caucasian man or wife is not part of a programme that destroys Africans knowingly or unknowingly. Depending on how you both met.
🔸️grew up with privilege and knows about it and is prepared to let go of that behaviour.
You are not lucky if you are married to a Caucasian who.
🔸️Still practices privilege, private or public
🔹️Uses you as a camouflage to practice colonial practices
🔸️Who is in denial of the privilege and artistic behaviour therefore not ready to psychologically work on him or herself.
Some people find it very normal to take it on their spouses whenever something goes wrong.
I am continuing writing but wanted to share this crucial part since we are now talking about racism and seeing people in interracial relationships being quiet, means enough. Who cares about who’s feelings more. Or are we supposed to practice self love and there love better?
I am NOT condemning anyone or any marriage. There are people out there who are happily married, but there are people in problems that they do not wish to discuss about because they are protecting families and children.
If you want a better future for your children nomatter skin colour, choose TRUTH. I don’t want my son or daughter to get married to someone whom we still are supposed to teach where we stand.
A lot suffer from within because they ran away from a marriage to another for better pastures and now turned out to be worse and therefore stuck in there because they are now ashamed to admit that they regret.
Can you imagine covering your African round back to look like a caucasian because the society you live in expects you to lighten your skin colour because that was considered more beautiful?
Enough people need a thorough healing before they start a new relationship, or a thorough healing within their own marriage when they discover that supremacy is the problem.