Conciousness and Popularism, extroverts and introverts.

The reason why I stay within my confident and private circles shows already that I am not fond of popularism. I do not feel comfortable at all when something becomes too much.
The balance of being myself and being around my family and those I love talking to is more important than an obligation to public.

Someone recently told me to go on youtube because thats how I can earn money with my content and gain following.
Well, I remember exactly when we still had no social media as yet, no platform at all except our email addresses, yahoo, MSN, outlook and other Microsoft related email addresses.
Back then I already felt unease if I had 2 email adresses. The first time we managed to chat through MSN, it felt weird. I remember the sound and the moment of changing your profile picture.
The one you chatted with never changed his or her profile picture and that was sticking into my head because it was their identity.

I have always loved to go deeper into programming and wanting to know more about why every company I worked for had what they call “helpdesk”. This is how I liked these nerds who operated our computer systems. They used to come and sit close to me showing me how it all works. I always offered them tea or coffee because I needed them longer in order to master.

My work colleagues called me crazy because I remembered their phone numbers by head. I never carried a phone book with me.

Even my family would always ask me their numbers that they didn’t remember. I guess this is how I mastered how the IT operators work.
It was so much in my interest to an extend that whenever I face the same problem with my Desktop. I now knew what the It operator did before. I remember that we would go into the backup room full of these wires and tapes and I was curious what they backed up.

This is what baba Anesu did for work too, he loved the fact that I loved working with the computers and felt very comfortable talking about his work to me because I would understand most of it and ofcourse loved to learn more always.
But there were these moments when we dated, that he came to my house and killed my computer in order for him to find relevance of coming back again. Man I struggled to a point of calling him again. He probably loved it.

Because in the first place I didnt know if I really wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, I liked him, and was still in the process of looking around, (remember I had left all my childhood friends in Zimbabwe. So falling in love in Netherlands was a challenge as a grounded human, I was used to something else) so the computer saved him because he went an extra mile killing my computer and knew he was the only one who was allowed to come and help me out.
Those days if you were an extrovert, they would advice to be with a quiet person and these IT guys and Chemists were the ones we came across. And these advices in books and magazine we read back then were biased because now it turns out to be even better to be with someone who overstands your character because they too are the same as you. “Talkie an social”.
Coming back to why I do not like popularism, its because I can be in my quiet place and write but I can also operate a website or even read about how a platform works. Which keys do they use to make certain functions operate differently from other platforms.

It all started with these nerds whom I brought coffee to during my break times at work and ask them everything.
So many people who see my pages on Social media, how many they are. My websites, how many they are and how nicely I love decorating them in the background with my music and coffee, even if they won’t look as professional as you guys have been brainwashed, that a website should look like this as the fashion industry would say so far, a lady should be a slender to fit in the clothes the clothes because they were lazy to research on different types of bodies. Believe me it happened with everything even food. 🚮

Sooo all wrong. It all needs certain overstanding and ofcourse appreciation. I am glad to be diverse and be interested in different things.
One thing though about IT Nerds. They are super Nerds and can be shy. They know about computers and not about social life basics and that clashes with someone who is very much extrovert.

Being extrovert used to be looked down upon because then you were not descent🚮. But that too was a wrong globalized judgement. Extroverts commucate proper.

(That’s why I fancy this joke, “quiet people on Social media think are being modest and mature, especially educated. They always feel they do good on maintaining privacy, yet not realising that they said goodbye to privacy when they registered on Social media). Mostly the do not ave much to share.

I will come back soon explaining about social life and nerds. How they are in relationships.

But to close this piece. I dont believe in large following as the greatest way of archivement.I also don’t believe that money immediately solve it all.
I believe in legacy. There is too much that I missed as a child that I would to like to leave behind for my children.

Its just that when the education of today teaches children to have a onesided mentality, they will always think that one is only good in what they were given good grades for. That’s why I am a teacher.

Because I allowed myself to learn about anything that I came across including humans and music. Whilst most of my age groups would say, “Its not in my taste categorie” or he is not my type.

Or I do not fancy that type of music. Well we sometimes all end up being with people who do not fit in all categories but its ok as long as they are not mean. A nice human is easy to accomodate.

Which is why I still want to give myself the OPPORTUNITY to be around everyone, Young, old, privileged, less privileged, advantaged, less advantaged. I never like to feel, look or sound better than anyone else and to me its the sign of RESPECT.

P.S. I do have a lot of these vivid stories of my life in Netherlands.🤸🏿🙈❤
Enjoy the read, let me sleep again for an hour.


It is important that noone sponsors you with a secret agenda

When you were once indoctrinated and you are awoke. How you feel SORRY for the indoctrinated being used and they think they are at a better position. I had a nice conversation with my friend yesterday about those people who are moving behind with 10 years before they start knowing how the Western people truly operate. How Caucasians look at you as an African or Asian, even someone from Middle East.
I have always been active in our Dutch society I am living in for 26 years even before I had children. I would come into newspapers because I always had something to say because of the “Love” I have for my people globally. I have worked for huge companies of the Netherlands such as Unilever and Smit International, Maersk and other huge shipping companies. Even small companies. Never have I worked as a civil servant even if I had the biggest chances to be one because of their good working hours, long holidays and allowances. I told myself, I can only be a Civil servant when I am old and need to settle down without having to think too much or be creative. I have never applied for any form of benefit. When I want to be a little bit more dependent I thought.Until I discovered that as long as you are still spiritually attached to Africa you will somehow struggle to be where you truly want to be in Europe unless you sign a contract with an organisation that will instruct you what to do.
Let me go back to my point. When I wanted to start a Non Profit Organisation. I got a lot of empowerment from the bank, and other organisations who were willing to promote my Organisation, when they saw that I was very much of an African origin with a patriotic mind yet very open-minded such that I managed to learn Dutch language and Culture in a very short period of time. They connected me with organisations that were already working together with Africa. I didn’t feel comfortable because of how these organisations operate. Before any organisation starts to EMPOWER you as an African Entrepeneur. Ask yourself what they want in the end, what is their benefit. If you are a true African and you recognize the struggle your people have been through and are still going through. You cannot put EGO and popularism upfront before asking yourself whether its a new form of Colonisation. You cannot keep selling your heritage for a personal gain through the back door. Yet some are struggling to maintain this for the nature for the future generation. Think about these people who are moving 10 years behind in knowing who these people truly are.We have been there and have been protected from doing stupid stuff for money, yet maintaining poverty within your family and people. I used to be the only African whom they would call, ” at least you are different” you are very clever. You can speak good Dutch. I found that annoying. There are certain things that you cannot expect me to do.

It is important that no-one ask you to

🔴 Tell a directed story about my African roots to suit certain circumstances yet I know what’s truly going on.

🔴 Work for a developmental program to EMPOWER my roots yet at the same time not truly informing me what’s your benefit looks like.

🔴 I cannot let you write my story without my consent not my awareness of the

🔴 Tell a directed story about my African roots to suit certain circumstances yet I know what’s truly going on.

🔴 Work for a developmental program to EMPOWER my roots yet at the same time not truly informing me what’s your benefit looks like.

🔴 I cannot let you write my story without my consent not my awareness of the consequences.

These are the days when women in business organised meetings and empowerment networking high tea's. Mostly financed by the council.

Freedom from Mental and Emotional Slavery

I just realised that these were the years when I was doing most things as a European. I cannot blame myself. Mwana washe muranda kumwe and for us to know what doesnt suit us, we have to build experience. I look happy, not 100 percent and I remember those extensions troubled me most. It was then a secret I only shared with myself and my husband as he was the one who helped me remove them, because whenever I went to the hairsalon to cover up my beautiful Afro, I would come home and my European husband would give me compliments.

I guess then those compliments added up into our relationship because the media. system, people and fashion industry used to encourage only long hair as the most beautiful, let alone thin women who looked straight without round bums.

I have then seen myself as a biggirl, who only wanted bigger sizes clothes especially to cover up my butt and breasts as there were no good size BH’s and underwears.

Can you imagine, a man that you are married to being the one determining your smile by saying a few things that can change your confidence? I wonder how many girls and women who suffered from Aneroxia and Bollimia because they wanted to please their husbands and the society.

I remember visiting my inlaws and their first compliment would be wow, you have lost weight. By then I would be wearing those tight synthetic underwears that brought my belly inside, at that moment I had just given birth through a ceasarean. I felt the pain of the tightness those underwears coursed on my belly. But everyone who didnt feel the pain was happy to see a thin European like woman married to their son or brother. Wearing long straight hair like them.

Since a few years, I have been free from these fake hair extensions. I feel very comfortable in my own hair even though I realize it grows slower because of the Westernized lifestyle.

  • Food
  • atmosphere
  • stress
  • hormones

I stood up for myself and forced myself to challenge my husband whether he is brainwashed to only accept women wearing long straight hair, because there was a time when I did Afro extensions and he didnt like it at all. I gave him a choice. To either go after a Dutch woman with natural straight hair and less round butt. It was a struggle. I was ready to move out for my comfort. I gave him choices as he met me with a life already. when we met I was a Ducth woman already by right and a Zimbabwean by right.


Starting to love yourself is not buying yourself things and have a lot of money. Starting to love ourselves is a pprocess. You cannot just write a paragraph and copy hashtag Selflove before truly practicing it. The process of loving yourself start by:

*Self confrontation

  • Self Criticism
  • Building Self confidence and more
  • Freeing yourself from mental slavery

I started to smile from inside and nowadays even if I do not show my teeth you can see or feel the piece inside me.

Enough people come on my profile to ask me, how come I can do what I do and my husband is content or seem ok with that.
Its not an easy task. Its a whole process to start practicing self love whilst maintaining your dignity.


I am offering a free seminar via Zoom.

All you need to install on your gadget is Zoom App. contact me and provide your email addres or phone number.
We gather as a group of people from your own home or place where you are. We make this appointment and start this seminar. I realise My facebook videos and audios do not reach the right people who are truly in need of this help.

My Interracial relations