A MIXTURE OF A NERD AND EXTROVERT

I AM A MIXTURE OF A NERD AND A SOCIAL TYPE

Conciousness and Popularism, extroverts and introverts.

The reason why I stay within my confident and private circles shows already that I am not fond of popularism. I do not feel comfortable at all when something becomes too much.
The balance of being myself and being around my family and those I love talking to is more important than an obligation to public.

Someone recently told me to go on youtube because thats how I can earn money with my content and gain following.
Well, I remember exactly when we still had no social media as yet, no platform at all except our email addresses, yahoo, MSN, outlook and other Microsoft related email addresses.
Back then I already felt unease if I had 2 email adresses. The first time we managed to chat through MSN, it felt weird. I remember the sound and the moment of changing your profile picture.
The one you chatted with never changed his or her profile picture and that was sticking into my head because it was their identity.

I have always loved to go deeper into programming and wanting to know more about why every company I worked for had what they call “helpdesk”. This is how I liked these nerds who operated our computer systems. They used to come and sit close to me showing me how it all works. I always offered them tea or coffee because I needed them longer in order to master.

My work colleagues called me crazy because I remembered their phone numbers by head. I never carried a phone book with me.

Even my family would always ask me their numbers that they didn’t remember. I guess this is how I mastered how the IT operators work.
It was so much in my interest to an extend that whenever I face the same problem with my Desktop. I now knew what the It operator did before. I remember that we would go into the backup room full of these wires and tapes and I was curious what they backed up.

This is what baba Anesu did for work too, he loved the fact that I loved working with the computers and felt very comfortable talking about his work to me because I would understand most of it and ofcourse loved to learn more always.
But there were these moments when we dated, that he came to my house and killed my computer in order for him to find relevance of coming back again. Man I struggled to a point of calling him again. He probably loved it.

Because in the first place I didnt know if I really wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, I liked him, and was still in the process of looking around, (remember I had left all my childhood friends in Zimbabwe. So falling in love in Netherlands was a challenge as a grounded human, I was used to something else) so the computer saved him because he went an extra mile killing my computer and knew he was the only one who was allowed to come and help me out.
Those days if you were an extrovert, they would advice to be with a quiet person and these IT guys and Chemists were the ones we came across. And these advices in books and magazine we read back then were biased because now it turns out to be even better to be with someone who overstands your character because they too are the same as you. “Talkie an social”.
Coming back to why I do not like popularism, its because I can be in my quiet place and write but I can also operate a website or even read about how a platform works. Which keys do they use to make certain functions operate differently from other platforms.

It all started with these nerds whom I brought coffee to during my break times at work and ask them everything.
So many people who see my pages on Social media, how many they are. My websites, how many they are and how nicely I love decorating them in the background with my music and coffee, even if they won’t look as professional as you guys have been brainwashed, that a website should look like this as the fashion industry would say so far, a lady should be a slender to fit in the clothes the clothes because they were lazy to research on different types of bodies. Believe me it happened with everything even food. 🚮

Sooo all wrong. It all needs certain overstanding and ofcourse appreciation. I am glad to be diverse and be interested in different things.
One thing though about IT Nerds. They are super Nerds and can be shy. They know about computers and not about social life basics and that clashes with someone who is very much extrovert.

Being extrovert used to be looked down upon because then you were not descent🚮. But that too was a wrong globalized judgement. Extroverts commucate proper.

(That’s why I fancy this joke, “quiet people on Social media think are being modest and mature, especially educated. They always feel they do good on maintaining privacy, yet not realising that they said goodbye to privacy when they registered on Social media). Mostly the do not ave much to share.

I will come back soon explaining about social life and nerds. How they are in relationships.

But to close this piece. I dont believe in large following as the greatest way of archivement.I also don’t believe that money immediately solve it all.
I believe in legacy. There is too much that I missed as a child that I would to like to leave behind for my children.

Its just that when the education of today teaches children to have a onesided mentality, they will always think that one is only good in what they were given good grades for. That’s why I am a teacher.

Because I allowed myself to learn about anything that I came across including humans and music. Whilst most of my age groups would say, “Its not in my taste categorie” or he is not my type.

Or I do not fancy that type of music. Well we sometimes all end up being with people who do not fit in all categories but its ok as long as they are not mean. A nice human is easy to accomodate.

Which is why I still want to give myself the OPPORTUNITY to be around everyone, Young, old, privileged, less privileged, advantaged, less advantaged. I never like to feel, look or sound better than anyone else and to me its the sign of RESPECT.

P.S. I do have a lot of these vivid stories of my life in Netherlands.🤸🏿🙈❤
Enjoy the read, let me sleep again for an hour.

THE JOURNEY TO FREEDOM

It is important that noone sponsors you with a secret agenda

When you were once indoctrinated and you are awoke. How you feel SORRY for the indoctrinated being used and they think they are at a better position. I had a nice conversation with my friend yesterday about those people who are moving behind with 10 years before they start knowing how the Western people truly operate. How Caucasians look at you as an African or Asian, even someone from Middle East.
I have always been active in our Dutch society I am living in for 26 years even before I had children. I would come into newspapers because I always had something to say because of the “Love” I have for my people globally. I have worked for huge companies of the Netherlands such as Unilever and Smit International, Maersk and other huge shipping companies. Even small companies. Never have I worked as a civil servant even if I had the biggest chances to be one because of their good working hours, long holidays and allowances. I told myself, I can only be a Civil servant when I am old and need to settle down without having to think too much or be creative. I have never applied for any form of benefit. When I want to be a little bit more dependent I thought.Until I discovered that as long as you are still spiritually attached to Africa you will somehow struggle to be where you truly want to be in Europe unless you sign a contract with an organisation that will instruct you what to do.
Let me go back to my point. When I wanted to start a Non Profit Organisation. I got a lot of empowerment from the bank, and other organisations who were willing to promote my Organisation, when they saw that I was very much of an African origin with a patriotic mind yet very open-minded such that I managed to learn Dutch language and Culture in a very short period of time. They connected me with organisations that were already working together with Africa. I didn’t feel comfortable because of how these organisations operate. Before any organisation starts to EMPOWER you as an African Entrepeneur. Ask yourself what they want in the end, what is their benefit. If you are a true African and you recognize the struggle your people have been through and are still going through. You cannot put EGO and popularism upfront before asking yourself whether its a new form of Colonisation. You cannot keep selling your heritage for a personal gain through the back door. Yet some are struggling to maintain this for the nature for the future generation. Think about these people who are moving 10 years behind in knowing who these people truly are.We have been there and have been protected from doing stupid stuff for money, yet maintaining poverty within your family and people. I used to be the only African whom they would call, ” at least you are different” you are very clever. You can speak good Dutch. I found that annoying. There are certain things that you cannot expect me to do.

It is important that no-one ask you to

🔴 Tell a directed story about my African roots to suit certain circumstances yet I know what’s truly going on.

🔴 Work for a developmental program to EMPOWER my roots yet at the same time not truly informing me what’s your benefit looks like.

🔴 I cannot let you write my story without my consent not my awareness of the

🔴 Tell a directed story about my African roots to suit certain circumstances yet I know what’s truly going on.

🔴 Work for a developmental program to EMPOWER my roots yet at the same time not truly informing me what’s your benefit looks like.

🔴 I cannot let you write my story without my consent not my awareness of the consequences.

These are the days when women in business organised meetings and empowerment networking high tea's. Mostly financed by the council.

Women practicing Empathy. Sisterhood corner

I was busy writing this short blog since this morning, also because I wouldn’t like to let this day go unnoticed. Everything goes through my head when I think mainly of a woman who brought me here in this world. Unforgettable! Indispensable, yet she’s gone. She lives in me and in my children. This woman I mention almost every day. This woman has lived in her years when women were not yet liberated but she fought hard that her daughters became who they are now. Anyway, of course I don’t want to talk only about me.

Last years were not easy at all. I have realized that we meet people for a reason. That’s why you that people may come into your life for a shorter period. Some stick around despite the fact that you sometimes say openly things that may bring people into thinking depending on the level of thinking and receiving the particular message brought through. Its not all of us who are blessed with empathy, but we can all learn.

These people are:

Moms,

Ladies,

Pregnant women,

Girls,

Single moms,

Grandma’s,

Aunts,

Mother-in Laws.

Between all these ladies there are many who would like to have a baby, many who have already given birth and enough trying to find balance between work and family. Between all those ladies also enough who don’t have children for various reasons. Still women. They fight for a second child, they fight for their relationship to work out, fight for friendship or family ties. I can appoint anything but I don’t know any better than I what I have already experienced.  I’m learning a lot! I’m not perfect myself! I’m glad to get to know all these women. I thought I needed someone to sympathize with me because I don’t have a mother or mother-in-law knocking at my door to ask how I feel or take the kids for some hours. No, the grass is never  greener at the neighbors. I thought  my situation was worse when I  got 3 Cesareans, but then turns out that friend hasn’t been able to breast-feed because of cancer or Aids.

Life is complicated and we women do not make it easy for ourselves and certainly not for others. There are things that  can be difficult to release and that is also different per woman. Over the last few years, I’ve only been coming across strong, driven women. I have also learnt that not everyone necessarily has to walk up your alley, as long as you  respect one another, you will see that it works for you too. Keep stimulating each other! Give each other a lot, correct each other where it goes wrong and don’t gossip behind the back. Help each other improve relationships with our men and children and not destroy. Unfortunately, this is also the case.

My concern this year and the next few years is when we are actually going to behave differently, eat or feel because we like to lose weight. Because someone has ever determined a size clothing as an ideal. However, I found out that healthy are not necessarily slim. Everything has its own extreme sides and everything that’s too much is not good. Hopefully, we’ll manage to find the balance and be happy. P

Love you all!

Thanks to ladies who participated and participated in the babycarryworkout this year during the negenmaandenbeurs! You were so good! I’m very grateful to get to know you guys. Your children have been allowed to meet me and you entrusted me to share these vulnerable moments with you. That is nice to be able to be twice a week with people where you can easily discuss female inconveniences and comforts and make a nice family life at home.

Happy International Women’s day. Just showing my appreciation to all women have met so far, women I have learnt a lot from and women who guide me in difficult moments and years! Not forgetting to mention my own mom who made it happen, a woman whom we cannot live without but no longer there

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Why I am not happy in the Diaspora

The danger of raising children in The Diaspora, when you grew up in your country of origin.

I left Zimbabwe when I was 22 years old and I have been living in The Netherlands for he pas 21 years. I now have a family and going back is not planned within a day! Let alone the ticket prices for 5 people. I do realize a lot has changed, but never underestimate what a child has been exposed to. Its powerful.

Written in November 10, 2015

As a child in the village we could really play and discover a lot without anyone giving us a label. We had a lot of space to play and possibilities to discover, build and finish everything ourselves without anyone commanding. I never played alone. People here ask us as a family why we did not opt ​​for home education. Well then I would prefer to take my children to an African village to practice in real life

Surely, I am a doubter. I do not like developmental organizations, I am a vaccination-doubter, an education system-doubter. If I had stayed in Africa, I might have died of unavoidable illnesses, but maybe not. I did stay close to my roots, close to my parents. We have learned a lot. We lived natural building our own immune system

Working in the fields, knowing all kinds of vegetables, natural medicines, species of trees, is not something an African child learn from a researched point of view, but from a day to day living and experiencing from the elderly people.

We always kept our attention to the seasons,light from the moon. Therefore we knew when to to organize ceremonies and parties in the evenings and these are mostly organized at full moon. Then you hear drums and singing in the neighborhoods. Exchanging seeds and livestock. Nobody is poor when everyone and families are help one another without questioning so no room for individualism.

And also the cattle: milking cows, goats and sheep. That was biology lesson and that was agriculture / agriculture. Without chemical additives. My parents built huts and houses of self-baked stones without asbestos or other carcinogenic additives.

Now I live in a world where I am only raising children with my husband. Sometimes very sad. What is education without your roots? To whom can you ask questions about the first teeth, or whatever.

 


Now I have find out: whether my child might also have a chance to make a vegetable garden somewhere. There is no space or else you have to buy a piece of land which you can only use for a certain period of the years because the rest of the is filled by winter.

While we made our own balls to plays from bicycle tires and recycled fabric and other organic materials in Africa. In Europe we have to join a football club and pay a fee because football an other sport activities are no longer provided in schools.

Playfully learning is doing things in practice and not being tested and labelled!

 

In Zimbabwe we lived with a father and a mother and we had family around us. Because of the school systems we had to go all the way to the city where I saw my mother very little. My father worked in the city and my mother lived in village. I now realize how often I have missed my mother. But those moments we were together were fruit full, because my mom was practicing what she taught us.

A lot of documentaries and researches bring us back to the bonding moments of an African parent and her children

One day I had to go to the Netherlands with my brother to continue my studies. With the goal that I would go back to my parents, unfortunately life is never in our hands. My parents passed away because of the circumstances in my homeland. this added up to my loneliness and I was further from my own roots.
Now married and I had really hoped that I would have close family outside my dear family, unfortunately the answer is no.

Please see more blogs and thank you for reading and hopefully your response ❤