Quality time in het gezin

Pas geleden heb ik een berichtje gepost op mijn privé pagina waar ik vaak dingen deel die ik onderneem met mijn gezin.

Vaak ook deel ik foto’s, en verhaaltjes van wat ik met mijn man heb gedaan, of met 1 kind zonder de rest. En vaak ook gezamenlijke foto waarin we samen als gezin iets leuks ondernemen. Ik deel ook veel eten foto’s, maaltijden met recepten en zo.

Wat ik voornamelijk erg belangrijk vind, is quality time. Ik probeer met alle kinderen echter wat aandacht te besteden in wat ieder leuk en fijn vind, maar ook wat ieder minder leuk vindt. Daardoor ontstaan weleens onenigheden. Maar uiteindelijk hebben we dan wel een probleem opgelost. Ik vermijd graag problemen of verdriet te verstoppen. Ik spreek graag dingen uit.

De reactie die ik dan krijg wanneer ik mijn foto’s met mijn man plaats zijn vaak:

Hoe doen jullie dat met de kinderen? Kunnen jullie dan een oppass volledig vertrouwen?

Wat ik tot nu toe heb. Geleerd en gezin is dat in het Western normal kan zijn dat partners eigen doen en te vaak waardoor kinderen dit zien als de voorbeeld. Echter de kinderen groeien op met het idee dat alles apat moet.

 

 

Women practicing Empathy. Sisterhood corner

I was busy writing this short blog since this morning, also because I wouldn’t like to let this day go unnoticed. Everything goes through my head when I think mainly of a woman who brought me here in this world. Unforgettable! Indispensable, yet she’s gone. She lives in me and in my children. This woman I mention almost every day. This woman has lived in her years when women were not yet liberated but she fought hard that her daughters became who they are now. Anyway, of course I don’t want to talk only about me.

Last years were not easy at all. I have realized that we meet people for a reason. That’s why you that people may come into your life for a shorter period. Some stick around despite the fact that you sometimes say openly things that may bring people into thinking depending on the level of thinking and receiving the particular message brought through. Its not all of us who are blessed with empathy, but we can all learn.

These people are:

Moms,

Ladies,

Pregnant women,

Girls,

Single moms,

Grandma’s,

Aunts,

Mother-in Laws.

Between all these ladies there are many who would like to have a baby, many who have already given birth and enough trying to find balance between work and family. Between all those ladies also enough who don’t have children for various reasons. Still women. They fight for a second child, they fight for their relationship to work out, fight for friendship or family ties. I can appoint anything but I don’t know any better than I what I have already experienced.  I’m learning a lot! I’m not perfect myself! I’m glad to get to know all these women. I thought I needed someone to sympathize with me because I don’t have a mother or mother-in-law knocking at my door to ask how I feel or take the kids for some hours. No, the grass is never  greener at the neighbors. I thought  my situation was worse when I  got 3 Cesareans, but then turns out that friend hasn’t been able to breast-feed because of cancer or Aids.

Life is complicated and we women do not make it easy for ourselves and certainly not for others. There are things that  can be difficult to release and that is also different per woman. Over the last few years, I’ve only been coming across strong, driven women. I have also learnt that not everyone necessarily has to walk up your alley, as long as you  respect one another, you will see that it works for you too. Keep stimulating each other! Give each other a lot, correct each other where it goes wrong and don’t gossip behind the back. Help each other improve relationships with our men and children and not destroy. Unfortunately, this is also the case.

My concern this year and the next few years is when we are actually going to behave differently, eat or feel because we like to lose weight. Because someone has ever determined a size clothing as an ideal. However, I found out that healthy are not necessarily slim. Everything has its own extreme sides and everything that’s too much is not good. Hopefully, we’ll manage to find the balance and be happy. P

Love you all!

Thanks to ladies who participated and participated in the babycarryworkout this year during the negenmaandenbeurs! You were so good! I’m very grateful to get to know you guys. Your children have been allowed to meet me and you entrusted me to share these vulnerable moments with you. That is nice to be able to be twice a week with people where you can easily discuss female inconveniences and comforts and make a nice family life at home.

Happy International Women’s day. Just showing my appreciation to all women have met so far, women I have learnt a lot from and women who guide me in difficult moments and years! Not forgetting to mention my own mom who made it happen, a woman whom we cannot live without but no longer there

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Connection between the animals are subsequently to people

I only gave a lecture about connecting, bonding, family and so on. I described what I was doing all these years. Family connection, then friends, then with your other loved ones, your animals. Even a farmer commits and adheres to / on his cattle. I recognize from my idiosyncratic roots, Zimbabwe where people and animals mainly in rural areas are highly interconnected.

Connection between the animals are subsequently to people

Sometimes cows or donkeys seen when they help people? They chat with each other, looking at each other and leave food behind each other and feed the young. As a child I helped my parents with the cattle, together with my brothers and sister. When I look back, I am particularly impressed with how we worked with neighborhood boys and girls. They also helped parents during planting, sowing and harvesting, and cattle. It happened a lot and it was really obvious that every child just had a take. Each task connected us also with the cattle we were doing.

I remember mostly the names we give to the cows. Each cow had a name that suited his character. From the moment it is a calf, the children and parents feel what it is. I write in the present tense because it still happened. I often get messages from my brother with the pictures of the remaining cattle.

Because names, creates a connection between man and animal, by regularity we were just connected.
Regularity and compound

From my parents I learned to get up very early. My parents had cows, goats, shelves, chickens, turkeys, dogs and cats. There was great diversity in.

They were so many and yet we knew one on which it was and what it did and luster. Which eggs when it comes. We lived with season.

We ate seasonal vegetables, we were dependent on the moon. We slept early because it was faster dark. My mother always said “Basa Mangwanani” and this means better start working early, then you can still enjoy your day, because do you? it’s already evening.

This is what I still do, I remember when I worked at the office in Rotterdam and Schiedam I could often ask my colleagues if they had wet the bed;). So early was ik.Ik h ad been made long coffee and radio turned on to create a fun atmosphere connection to the work floor. I see actually why I did it.

pltlnd0

Thanks for reading my blog. So I asked in February to give a lecture during the nine-month exhibition about what I actually do. This I told such and eventually it went #Familybonding. I continue with my blog when my kids are relax.

Dear greetings
Melissa Budding
Living in the Netherlands since 1994

Vulnerable people are truly lovers

People who easily show their love, who doesn’t keep it inside are the best parents. If you calculate the amount of love you give or distribute among st your children, then the chance is higher that you cannot fully or truly love. Be that person who say it out when you feel it. Especially to your children because they need to learn to love in the future.
Translation to this is, never be ashamed to show your feelings to anyone especially when those feelings are genuine.

Image may contain: Melissa Budding, smiling, standing and text

Children need to know vulnerability not toughness, because no one likes tough people. Being vulnerable is even more difficult than being tough.
Being vulnerable is therefore stronger, because some people may end up mistaken vulnerable for weakness and abuse that. So be careful with those people who show true love, because they are not easy to break. I am not a quiet one, I am vulnerable and can be very shy, when you know me well. So far a few know me. And only one is allowed press those buttons. The deeper untouchable feelings, are indeed too holy to be touched by everyone. The vulnerability you show to public, during your work or to strangers that you may care about is totally different from when you show it to the buttons holder. Both behaviors are genuine but different. I always share genuineness but does not mean I have fallen
I cannot share this with everyone, neither do just anyone deserves this?
In the Humansbonded I have explained Vulnerability and weakness, why those two are different.