A MIXTURE OF A NERD AND EXTROVERT

I AM A MIXTURE OF A NERD AND A SOCIAL TYPE

Conciousness and Popularism, extroverts and introverts.

The reason why I stay within my confident and private circles shows already that I am not fond of popularism. I do not feel comfortable at all when something becomes too much.
The balance of being myself and being around my family and those I love talking to is more important than an obligation to public.

Someone recently told me to go on youtube because thats how I can earn money with my content and gain following.
Well, I remember exactly when we still had no social media as yet, no platform at all except our email addresses, yahoo, MSN, outlook and other Microsoft related email addresses.
Back then I already felt unease if I had 2 email adresses. The first time we managed to chat through MSN, it felt weird. I remember the sound and the moment of changing your profile picture.
The one you chatted with never changed his or her profile picture and that was sticking into my head because it was their identity.

I have always loved to go deeper into programming and wanting to know more about why every company I worked for had what they call “helpdesk”. This is how I liked these nerds who operated our computer systems. They used to come and sit close to me showing me how it all works. I always offered them tea or coffee because I needed them longer in order to master.

My work colleagues called me crazy because I remembered their phone numbers by head. I never carried a phone book with me.

Even my family would always ask me their numbers that they didn’t remember. I guess this is how I mastered how the IT operators work.
It was so much in my interest to an extend that whenever I face the same problem with my Desktop. I now knew what the It operator did before. I remember that we would go into the backup room full of these wires and tapes and I was curious what they backed up.

This is what baba Anesu did for work too, he loved the fact that I loved working with the computers and felt very comfortable talking about his work to me because I would understand most of it and ofcourse loved to learn more always.
But there were these moments when we dated, that he came to my house and killed my computer in order for him to find relevance of coming back again. Man I struggled to a point of calling him again. He probably loved it.

Because in the first place I didnt know if I really wanted to be with him for the rest of my life, I liked him, and was still in the process of looking around, (remember I had left all my childhood friends in Zimbabwe. So falling in love in Netherlands was a challenge as a grounded human, I was used to something else) so the computer saved him because he went an extra mile killing my computer and knew he was the only one who was allowed to come and help me out.
Those days if you were an extrovert, they would advice to be with a quiet person and these IT guys and Chemists were the ones we came across. And these advices in books and magazine we read back then were biased because now it turns out to be even better to be with someone who overstands your character because they too are the same as you. “Talkie an social”.
Coming back to why I do not like popularism, its because I can be in my quiet place and write but I can also operate a website or even read about how a platform works. Which keys do they use to make certain functions operate differently from other platforms.

It all started with these nerds whom I brought coffee to during my break times at work and ask them everything.
So many people who see my pages on Social media, how many they are. My websites, how many they are and how nicely I love decorating them in the background with my music and coffee, even if they won’t look as professional as you guys have been brainwashed, that a website should look like this as the fashion industry would say so far, a lady should be a slender to fit in the clothes the clothes because they were lazy to research on different types of bodies. Believe me it happened with everything even food. 🚮

Sooo all wrong. It all needs certain overstanding and ofcourse appreciation. I am glad to be diverse and be interested in different things.
One thing though about IT Nerds. They are super Nerds and can be shy. They know about computers and not about social life basics and that clashes with someone who is very much extrovert.

Being extrovert used to be looked down upon because then you were not descent🚮. But that too was a wrong globalized judgement. Extroverts commucate proper.

(That’s why I fancy this joke, “quiet people on Social media think are being modest and mature, especially educated. They always feel they do good on maintaining privacy, yet not realising that they said goodbye to privacy when they registered on Social media). Mostly the do not ave much to share.

I will come back soon explaining about social life and nerds. How they are in relationships.

But to close this piece. I dont believe in large following as the greatest way of archivement.I also don’t believe that money immediately solve it all.
I believe in legacy. There is too much that I missed as a child that I would to like to leave behind for my children.

Its just that when the education of today teaches children to have a onesided mentality, they will always think that one is only good in what they were given good grades for. That’s why I am a teacher.

Because I allowed myself to learn about anything that I came across including humans and music. Whilst most of my age groups would say, “Its not in my taste categorie” or he is not my type.

Or I do not fancy that type of music. Well we sometimes all end up being with people who do not fit in all categories but its ok as long as they are not mean. A nice human is easy to accomodate.

Which is why I still want to give myself the OPPORTUNITY to be around everyone, Young, old, privileged, less privileged, advantaged, less advantaged. I never like to feel, look or sound better than anyone else and to me its the sign of RESPECT.

P.S. I do have a lot of these vivid stories of my life in Netherlands.🤸🏿🙈❤
Enjoy the read, let me sleep again for an hour.

THE JOURNEY TO FREEDOM

It is important that noone sponsors you with a secret agenda

When you were once indoctrinated and you are awoke. How you feel SORRY for the indoctrinated being used and they think they are at a better position. I had a nice conversation with my friend yesterday about those people who are moving behind with 10 years before they start knowing how the Western people truly operate. How Caucasians look at you as an African or Asian, even someone from Middle East.
I have always been active in our Dutch society I am living in for 26 years even before I had children. I would come into newspapers because I always had something to say because of the “Love” I have for my people globally. I have worked for huge companies of the Netherlands such as Unilever and Smit International, Maersk and other huge shipping companies. Even small companies. Never have I worked as a civil servant even if I had the biggest chances to be one because of their good working hours, long holidays and allowances. I told myself, I can only be a Civil servant when I am old and need to settle down without having to think too much or be creative. I have never applied for any form of benefit. When I want to be a little bit more dependent I thought.Until I discovered that as long as you are still spiritually attached to Africa you will somehow struggle to be where you truly want to be in Europe unless you sign a contract with an organisation that will instruct you what to do.
Let me go back to my point. When I wanted to start a Non Profit Organisation. I got a lot of empowerment from the bank, and other organisations who were willing to promote my Organisation, when they saw that I was very much of an African origin with a patriotic mind yet very open-minded such that I managed to learn Dutch language and Culture in a very short period of time. They connected me with organisations that were already working together with Africa. I didn’t feel comfortable because of how these organisations operate. Before any organisation starts to EMPOWER you as an African Entrepeneur. Ask yourself what they want in the end, what is their benefit. If you are a true African and you recognize the struggle your people have been through and are still going through. You cannot put EGO and popularism upfront before asking yourself whether its a new form of Colonisation. You cannot keep selling your heritage for a personal gain through the back door. Yet some are struggling to maintain this for the nature for the future generation. Think about these people who are moving 10 years behind in knowing who these people truly are.We have been there and have been protected from doing stupid stuff for money, yet maintaining poverty within your family and people. I used to be the only African whom they would call, ” at least you are different” you are very clever. You can speak good Dutch. I found that annoying. There are certain things that you cannot expect me to do.

It is important that no-one ask you to

🔴 Tell a directed story about my African roots to suit certain circumstances yet I know what’s truly going on.

🔴 Work for a developmental program to EMPOWER my roots yet at the same time not truly informing me what’s your benefit looks like.

🔴 I cannot let you write my story without my consent not my awareness of the

🔴 Tell a directed story about my African roots to suit certain circumstances yet I know what’s truly going on.

🔴 Work for a developmental program to EMPOWER my roots yet at the same time not truly informing me what’s your benefit looks like.

🔴 I cannot let you write my story without my consent not my awareness of the consequences.

These are the days when women in business organised meetings and empowerment networking high tea's. Mostly financed by the council.

Connected by the great shared taste!

The new menu provides the possibility of sharing. Just like what we would do in African  countries, eating from one plate. You will find out that that’s where great stories start. Great relationships and ideas. No more individualism. With the new Restaurant Tijsterman menu humans are connected without them planning or noticing. The quality of their food connects. Their great communication skills connects.

We came to stay in our village about 2 years ago, one thing that we always looked for, were places that we can find peace when we are tired, or find good ambiance and tasty food and drinks. Because of searching we end up connecting with the people behind the scenes.  Who then tell us the story behind. This is what fascinates me and my husband.

I remember us drinking some coffee at one of this family’s restaurant and we were immediately satisfied, not because we knew the whole menu yet. But there was a connection, Interest from both ways and that was one of the reason we came back and decide to buy our own house. The personnel is well trained such that even if they do not know, or cannot provide they will always find a way to help you out.

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In two years time we visited these family’s restaurants and cafes where we could drink selected beers and wines. This was even the best solution close to our house.

We were very honored when they surprised us by an invitation to try the  New menu Restaurant-Tijsterman so we could provide review information. We enjoyed the tastes! we enjoyed the service and ambiance. Just like our second home. Me and my husband have always shared our diner just because we wanted to taste from each other’s plate.

What I like about their selection, is an eye on the seasons and human nature. That already shows how much respect they do have to human’s health and well being.

Below you can watch a video when my children were enjoying Mussels during the season when they are available.

My children enjoying Mussels

People who know me, know that I always talk about good food, not only health but tasty and high quality. Moving from Zimbabwe to Netherlands was not easy especially when it came to food. I was shocked about the amount of groceries people did. I was shocked about the choices I had for one type of product. How much I could find in supermarkets, too much.

Unfortunately to discover that  I had to be careful what was real and not. Most people I knew were mostly saving money on food, like they would buy the cheapest type of food in the supermarket. That never tasted the way I had known when I was young.

The most confusing part was that I would then think like I read everywhere and saw on TV that Africans were poor. I ended up not looking for the type of food I grew up eating. Food like pumpkins, and most of it what they call super – foods. The first time I visited an organic shop and a fair trade shop, I then started re appreciating my original African food.

Now that i live in a small village where the real farmers live and sell their products directly, I do feel the connection.

Even though we also adopted old British kitchen, the traditional kitchen in Zimbabwe still was the best for me as it was pure. I remember whenever I visited England or Scotland that I would pass by a traditional shop to buy typical British Cornish pastry, scones or tea. Because of travelling, I tended to like the Borough market more, even the handmade traditional food, that you can no longer find in bigger supermarkets.

Food processing killed my appetite and that made me even travel more. I visited different restaurants and ignored the fact that some have a 2 or 3 stars. I wanted to know more about who is behind the kitchen, what are their beliefs, how do they feel about what I tasted so far. I was looking for connection.
My parents definitely taught me how to taste and appreciate not just to eat because people are hungry. My father used this word culinary a lot and now I do understand what it means. I remembered my mom making lots of traditional Zimbabwean food 

So the way the Tijsterman family and their restaurant do really brings me back to my old traditional taste, organic and connection. I realized that that’s the place I like to be with my family for almost everything they do provide.

See the pictures:

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One of my biggest cultural shocks in the world is now solved.

I have been living in the Netherlands for the past 20 years. I had lots of cultural shocks in positive and negative ways. I have learnt to laugh about very simple things like my own identity just because I never wanted people to see me as a bad person.
Which also means accepting something that is a bit disrespectful to my own culture. But as I remember most people were always curious about how I have lived in Africa.

What changed me were my children? I had my first child in 2008, Instead of having to explain my culture again and again, I started practicing it.
I realized I had a lot to explain to my children. Most difficult was that there were not so may things that represented me as an African princess, African Doll and even in the windows where people did the window shopping.
I felt really bad about it and realized it wasn’t something I could change very easily than embracing who I was.
In Zimbabwe where I grew up, we lived mostly according what we imitated from colonialism.
So when we thought of buying a doll, it was always a white doll,  shops were full of them. I also think there were people of African origin who may have wanted to see something or someone who represented them as nice, black people who did not only fought wars and went through slavery.
I am really happy that I started carrying my baby’s and breastfed them as I remembered from the village in Zimbabwe.
In the cities especially Harare where I went to school, my parents explained to me a lot about different classes. You would be considered rich when you lived in a low density suburbs and poor when you were living in a high density suburb.

So many people would embrace the rich culture more. For example, when you see a black person buying a very big car for a better status or trying to lighten skin color to be able to look more prettier because this was perceived as beauty.

Oh mom I want to look pretty, and white skin was the only skin presented as pretty.

I have realized that if we cannot teach our children our African history, no-one else will. So it starts with self acceptance, self reflection.

To buy a toy or an educational toy has been one of the biggest cultural shock I ever had until I met Rejoice Bhila Kwaramba, the creator and owner at The dolls that represent diversity.

Please hear more of her story. She promotes self love and together we promote self reflection. she is lovely with her lovely family. I have already bought 2 dolls for my little girls and they love them. Teaching African history is much easier to understand when history is presented positively.

Representing my self, my origins, my well being has become a big lesson such that I begin to realize  how important it is for schools to learn the positive things about my origins.

We need more embracing, more people helping us doing this.  I will share some of my shocks:

-On television there were not so may people represented as African origin without that they were called poor.

-Every child I know from school is taught to help poor African children. I do agree  that there are countries that went through a lot, such that they need help, but not at all the time

If there was a commercial on television and there was an African origin family, it always looked like they were not organised. Those few things disturbed me.

So now that we can buy a black doll just like a barbie it means we have a good start of self acceptance without having to explain.

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