Humans Practicing Empathy
Emotional attachment between parents – children and humans in general
International women’s day. Wonen practicing Empathy
I was busy writing this short blog since this morning, also because I wouldn’t like to let this day go unnoticed. Everything goes through my head when I think mainly of a woman who brought me here in this world. Unforgettable! Indispensable, yet she’s gone. She lives in me and in my children. This woman I mention almost every day. This woman has lived in her years when women were not yet liberated but she fought hard that her daughters became who they are now. Anyway, of course I don’t want to talk only about me.
Last years were not easy at all. I have realized that we meet people for a reason. That’s why you that people may come into your life for a shorter period. Some stick around despite the fact that you sometimes say openly things that may bring people into thinking depending on the level of thinking and receiving the particular message brought through. Its not all of us who are blessed with empathy, but we can all learn.
These people are:
Moms,
Ladies,
Pregnant women,
Girls,
Single moms,
Grandma’s,
Aunts,
Mother-in Laws.
Between all these ladies there are many who would like to have a baby, many who have already given birth and enough trying to find balance between work and family. Between all those ladies also enough who don’t have children for various reasons. Still women. They fight for a second child, they fight for their relationship to work out, fight for friendship or family ties. I can appoint anything but I don’t know any better than I what I have already experienced. I’m learning a lot! I’m not perfect myself! I’m glad to get to know all these women. I thought I needed someone to sympathize with me because I don’t have a mother or mother-in-law knocking at my door to ask how I feel or take the kids for some hours. No, the grass is never greener at the neighbors. I thought my situation was worse when I got 3 Cesareans, but then turns out that friend hasn’t been able to breast-feed because of cancer or Aids.
Life is complicated and we women do not make it easy for ourselves and certainly not for others. There are things that can be difficult to release and that is also different per woman. Over the last few years, I’ve only been coming across strong, driven women. I have also learnt that not everyone necessarily has to walk up your alley, as long as you respect one another, you will see that it works for you too. Keep stimulating each other! Give each other a lot, correct each other where it goes wrong and don’t gossip behind the back. Help each other improve relationships with our men and children and not destroy. Unfortunately, this is also the case.
My concern this year and the next few years is when we are actually going to behave differently, eat or feel because we like to lose weight. Because someone has ever determined a size clothing as an ideal. However, I found out that healthy are not necessarily slim. Everything has its own extreme sides and everything that’s too much is not good. Hopefully, we’ll manage to find the balance and be happy. P
Love you all!
Thanks to ladies who participated and participated in the babycarryworkout this year during the negenmaandenbeurs! You were so good! I’m very grateful to get to know you guys. Your children have been allowed to meet me and you entrusted me to share these vulnerable moments with you. That is nice to be able to be twice a week with people where you can easily discuss female inconveniences and comforts and make a nice family life at home.
Happy International Women’s day. Just showing my appreciation to all women have met so far, women I have learnt a lot from and women who guide me in difficult moments and years! Not forgetting to mention my own mom who made it happen, a woman whom we cannot live without but no longer there
Freedom for our children
I see people around me and myself, all talking about freedom. I have met a lot of parents with young and older children. Married couples and dating people.
Many are fighting for so called freedom. My question is for humans of today, Do we really understand what freedom really means?
Let me take you down the line of my personal experience. I remember the freedom I had when I grew up. My parents left me outside to play with other children. The environment was safe by then.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s in the urban area in Harare and I have lived in the rural areas too. My parents exposed us to different areas in Zimbabwe regardless of how rich or what is considered poor. My parents have created freedom for us because we could now choose what we wanted when it comes to poverty, stable life or extreme luxury life.
I as a child I did learn a lot, because that gave me an Openminded mentality. I remember visiting mountains eating seasonal fruits. Following my instincts more than children who grow up in low density surburbs and Western countries would do.
At some point people thought it’s a good thing to put a baby in a pushchair at all the time. Some even believed that giving formula to a baby was modern and luxury. Without realizing how much freedom they took away from themselves and the children.
The whole idea of being dependent and not trust that you have instincts and control your whole pregnancy and the birth of your children up to the day you say goodbye when they get married. Because when you have never learnt how to let go, how can you let your own child go.
Look around you today, how many people are depending on the system, blaming very quick when things do not go the direction they were conditioned to be the right one. Read more on my blog.
My short visit to “Ireland”
I went to Ireland for the first time last year. I remember when l was still at the airport in Amsterdam, Schiphol very excited. It was busy that weekend because Irish people have street celebrations this month of the year. So the flight was fully booked by Irish people who live, study, work or married in Holland. Very pleasant people to be with. Just that moment when you are almost distant but then your life freshens after realizing there are still good people in this world💖👓
I met Wineth when I was running to the flight. You know when you book a cheap flight, park far away from where they check your passport.
So when we arrived there, they were already very happy Irish people who also could not wait to be with their friends and family. One guys asked where I was going?
I said, I am visiting Gerard Butler. 😊
There is something about Irish people that attracted me. They greet you. The food is good. The airport is full of nice quotes. They do not have many people angry at them in the world yet they have been through a lot.
💓
In this picture I was like revitalized, after I met met these girls whom I mentioned yesterday. I remember Rachel saying somehow somewhere we are sisters. I believe that because we both felt it. 💓 Rachel Your softness and diplomacy. I loved your work and admire it every day. Thanks for inspiring me
I met Dearbhla who is and has a lovely family. I was allowed to sleep at her house. Thank you once again. Alice is one of my Chinese friends who inspires me a lot. A strong Chinese living in Ireland. Very Irish but also very Chinese. So open-minded😘. Emer I love you.
In this picture I was on my way home and when I came.home they were waiting for me. It was a pleasure to tell them about a country with history. music and happy people.
You know I never bought a T shirt of a country except from Switzerland and Ireland. The rest of these other European countries I have visited did not touch my heart because probably what happened in the past. the same feeling I have when visiting places like museums and Zoo’s. Not my thing and def. not My children’s.
Parenthood and Entrepeneurship
Being an Entrepeneur for almost 11 years now, combining with parenthood and fulltime breastfeeding. I remember the first day I walked with my newborn daughter who was just a fews weeks old at my back in a #torsobabywearing piece of cloth.
I was not even sure whether they allowed mom’s to walk like this outside the house. To them it looked dangerous, rather unsafe and maybe suffocating for the baby? But this was a judgemental opinion from a distance.
I am happy some people felt free to come and confront me about this. When people ask you questions, they want answers. The questions may not come the way you expect, mostly they are rather offensive.
I have learnt to be patient, sometimes making a product without clients, and sometimes promoting for others. But that is business. I like promoting what the system tends to forget and ignore. Mostly being in a discussion with social workers who are used to work under protocols trying to convince them why carrying babies matter.
I remember entering a buiding once so to ask them if I could provide a workshop or free information to newborn parents.
The most difficult part was that I could see people wondering why I was working alone and not through an official social place?
What I really liked was that once in a while there would be parents coming to me saying what they had once come across during their holiday in Africa. It felt like someone was finally understanding what I was trying to say.
I have gained my experience through speaking to those without an idea what babywearing meant. I remember most people asking me what if the legs of the baby were spread too much, why they see African mom’s mostly carrying baby’s at the back.
Genuine questions. I have learnt from my parents that stupid questions never exist. I agree. Thats why I am still going on providing these lectures to everyone who wonders why babywearing works for others and not for them.
I challenge those as well who think they already know it all when it comes to the science behind carrying baby’s and toddlers. I am ready to provide online information as well to those who are far away.
Very soon I am going to Scotland to provide African Ethnic carrying culture, focussing on #Torsobabywearing.
stay tuned. The pictures were made last year when I was lecturing at the biggest babyfair #Negenmaandenbeurs where they have about 50 000 visitors a day, and I did this for 5 consecutive days. ❤
#Mbereko #berekamwana #Mberekocarry #wakandaforever
